Born to Be
Full band arrangement. Pop/Light Rock style. Bluefire Band in Studio performance. / Click Here to Learn More!
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Back in my early twenties, after graduating from Loyola University of Westchester, California; I teamed up with one of my classmates, Kevin L. Norwood, to share an apartment together in North Hollywood, California. Both of us were very interested in making it in the music industry at that time. In my mind, I had gotten started late in my music studies, having asked my mother for a piano and lessons at age 5. I finally did get fully started at age 17 with my studies, as I made music a double major in college, along with my Technical Communication Arts and liberal Sciences degree.
One of the main reasons why the music lessons never came in my youth is because I grew up in an abusive home, with a mother who beat me often. My first beating came in my crib when I could barely stand after my butter had brought me a cube of butter which I smeared onto the wall. My mother thought her embossed wall paper in my room was more important than my life when she saw what I had done. I could not even talk yet when she came in, yet I was trying to tell her how the sunlight had hit the window sill, creating a golden glow on the embossed wall paper and that the butter enhanced the light on the wall paper. The artist side of me saw how beautiful it looked and I wanted to share it with her. Instead she punched me around in my crib for the effort. This was my first introduction to real pain as well. At first I was really angry with her and then I started to cry being so hurt, thinking to myself; “How could you strike me when you are suppose to be for me?” Boy was I hurt with that first demonstration of her uncontrollable temper she had.
She was restless in many ways and she invariably broke my spirit, as I was entering my teens. The beatings came every 6 to 8 weeks, as I became her whipping boy growing up, to help her alleviate her frustrations. As such I grew up as a shy kid. Add on everything the nuns at All Soul’s school treated the kids and they had packed onto me a lot of fear, guilt and shame for being born. It took a lot to overcome all of it too as I got older. Sadly, no one was teaching me that God loved me. All I got out of it was that God hated everyone and that I’d go to Hell if I didn’t tow the mark. These days I’m far away from that because of the two full NDE experiences I had at age 25 and 44 where I met Jesus in the Light first and then later in His heaven, finding out I was completely loved by Him, just as I am at all times.
My room mate and I had been learning a lot about each other, even before moving in together to be a writing team. Kevin Norwood was working for the American Song Festival at the time and I was trying to meet others who I could co-write with which lead to our meeting. With his help, I was starting to see how my childhood had broken my self confidence and self esteem. I had just had my first NDE experience at age 25 and got to learn how my life was “wrecked”; showing that my original life’s plan had not gone as planned. I was intended for the entertainment industry at birth I was shown, but things can go wrong in God’s Universe; I learned. I shared with Kevin the NDE that happened to me on the operating table of Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital. He was very sympathetic and supportive I might add.
My room mate was seeing how my self confidence had been wrecked and realized all I needed was love and encouragement with the great talents God had given me. So he wrote some lyrics one day for me to read, which I put the music and arrangement to. Kevin L. Norwood, who was my room mate back in those days is busy pursuing professional acting these days when he isn’t doing computer consulting work. Here is the link to his IMDB page:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3163767/
Unfortunately, I was never able to do club work, like I had hoped, because my health failed shortly after my first NDE which came from bad food I had eaten at a local Pup N Taco fast food place at age 27. I was able to function, but not on all my power for 10 years. Then at age 37, I walked into a local Von’s Supermarket, where I bought bad mild Italian sausage, with their brand name on it and that set me up for the past 26 years of chronic health conditions. I then was bitten by a mosquito in my sleep that had a form of encephalitis virus in it, which the Los Angeles city department of health never took responsibility for. It was one, two, three strikes and I was dead again at age 44 with my second NDE no less. You can hear more about my story which even lead me to writing my first book titled THE MASTER’S KEY TO UNLOCKING AND MASTERING CHRONIC DISEASE. Here is the section on my website showing the interviews to date:
https://kffmenterprises.com/category/radio-interviews/
My doctors had pretty much given up on me, after three years of going through hellish suffering. Finally my primary care physician told me to go home and die. Shortly after that the pathway of my life changed in a big way and eventually, I was able to master most of my chronic disease health issues, using an uncommon approach through integrative medicine, thanks to the help of a naturopath doctor by the name of Dr. Rick Santee. I’m promoting Dr. Santee’s first book called PROSTATE RELIEF NOW, which you can find being offered on this website.
Anyway, I had hoped this song to be the opening of an album I wanted to write back in those days. I had been writing enough, up to that time, to complete several albums worth of material too. Money was always non-existent though for studio recording time. Still, I was able to finally finance a Fostex 4 Track tape recorder and other equipment for my own use; so I could do my own recordings. I even came up with a clever double compression system, so I could not only ping pong tracks into studio quality sound, but record original tracks, as though they had been recorded in a 24 track recording studio.
This mix was re-mastered on my computer, while enhancing the wave band amplitude and balance for each track to make a new final master mix which sounds aok as a demo of the work.
On drums is a drummer I hired some 30 years ago named Bob Jenson. I did the piano, bass, synthesizer and vocal work for this work, as well as the final engineering on the audio master mix for “Born to Be”. I had come up with my own sound and style, as I was doing my own songs along the way. Every artist needs their own sound. This song was completed on March 21, 1983.
While I was “a never was” in my youth, I hope you will enjoy this piece. I think it reaches out to anyone who needs to know they have value in God’s Universe and in life; that all obstacles of the self can be overcome, no matter how bad life has been to you.
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